Sharing and Learning how to Share

Children mostly tend to hate sharing. It’s definitely a challenge for them but they should learn to share when they are still young. An example on how to help your child to share is by providing him/her all the time and opportunities to practice. Another technique is to encourage them when they share.

Why sharing is important?

Sharing is a very important skill that a person takes through their life. Your child will need to learn how to share before he/she enters child care, preschool or kindergarten. Compromises come from sharing. It’s the fact that when you give you take at the same time. Sharing teaches children on how to take turns and accept disappointments, which are also very important life skills.

Helping your child learn about sharing

Your child does what you do, children observe their parent’s actions, so if you show your child how good sharing looks like and what are its rewards, it will give your child a push to act upon it.

Some on how to encourage sharing in everyday life:

·         Point out other children sharing. An example on that would be “Your friend was sharing her toys really well. That was very kind of her”.

·         Make sure to give your child attention. For example, “I liked the way you let Aziz play with your train. Great sharing!”

·         Play games with your child that include sharing. Say things like, ‘Now it’s my turn to build the tower, then it’s your turn. You share the red blocks with me, and I’ll share the green blocks with you’.

·         Tell your child how important it is to share, and that by sharing he/she will make more friends. An example on that “When Georgia comes over, you’ll need to share some of your toys. Why don’t we ask her what she wants to play with?”.

When your child won’t share

You need to practice with your child sharing, you need to be supportive to develop those life skills in him/her. An example on that would be by saying, “Let’s share this banana. You can have some, and I can have some”. Another strategy is to stay nearby when your child plays with others, encouraging him so he doesn’t forget to share.

Consequences for not sharing
You can make consequences for not sharing, for example if both your children are fighting over a toy then the consequence would be to take away the toy away from them both and stop them from playing with it. Of course this consequence shouldn’t be for long, but instead this consequence was done only so that they learn how to share. When you think they’re ready, you can give the toy back so your children get another chance to show they can share.

Sharing at different ages:

    - Toddlers:

Your toddler at that age doesn’t understand the meaning of sharing. Therefore, encouragement and practice are likely to bring better results than consequences at this point. When another child has something your toddler really wants, your child will probably find it very hard to wait his turn. He might even try to get the toy any way he can. This is normal but you to teach them patience too.

-Pre-schoolers:

Most children at this age have a basic idea about sharing. You can build your pre-schooler’s sharing skills by watching for good turn-taking, encouraging fairness and explaining about sharing. Talking to him about other people’s feelings will help him understand things from someone else’s point of view – this is also an important skill in making friends. It’s a good idea to be realistic about a pre-schooler’s ability to share.

 - School-age children:

At this age the child should by now understand that other people have feelings separate from their feelings. This means they can understand the idea of sharing and taking turns, although it might still be hard for them to share a favourite toy or game. School-age children also have a strong sense of fairness and might not want to share a toy or a game if they think they won’t get a fair go. At this age, your child will be much more patient and tolerant than he used to be. He’ll also be keen to do the right thing and can form more complex relationships, which really helps with the idea of sharing. Your child can get lots of practice sharing at school too.