Shouting at Kids, Does it Work ?

When you start your parental journey, do not even think that you can shout at your children. Well, these are just wonderful, small babies, so gentle and innocent. As your sweet baby grows, it becomes a little child, they are pushing harder and harder to test your limits and patience. Soon you realize that you are not the perfectly patient parent you thought you are.

          Capture yourself as you argue with that little person who sounds very mature, but is actually very immature in his development. Testing you in ways you did not even know was possible. But your children are similar to you in some way, either by personality or temperament. These common features are part of what makes it easy for them to play with your patience.

          The good news is that we are adults, mature and we can get ourselves out of the bad weather and take ourselves out properly in a stressful situation. This is what you should remember in those moments, when you would rather shout at your little ones.

1.     Remember that children are small

This looks simple, but sometimes it's a lot harder than it sounds. We are all day around children. We know what their little tongue means, we know what (most) cries and guts signalize. Even if, sometimes we forget how small and immature they really are.

          Even so small, our children can do so much - to punch in various places, listen to stories, draw and play. During the day, however, they have to go through many changes and manage complex human interactions.

          At some point, they simply cannot lose it anymore. This is the moment in which we need to remember how our children are actually small and let them show it. Only when you have this in mind, it gives a second look at all the tantrums and pranks.

          As the author of the children's development book, Janet Linsburi, said: "During the early years, our most realistic expectation is unrealistic. If we expect madness, it is much easier to stay normal and calm. "

2.     Be an example of emotion control

And of course, this sounds much easier than it is. We are smart enough to know that our children learn from every word and process they see from us. However, at certain times when a yellow minute arrives, it can be very difficult to control.

          Research has shown that children, whose parents are overly vigorously reacting to children’s tantrums, tend to increase their negative behavior over time. In other words, parents who do not exaggerate, but instead show that they can control their emotions well, really help their children to acquire that skill. It is important to note that this research was done in very young children (18-27 months), when the tantrum is very common.

What this tells us is that even though the kids at this age are prone to rage, along with our guidelines and good emotional reactions, this behavior does not have to be a norm for a longer period of time.

3.     Count

We all at once heard the advice that, as parents, we should count up to ten in order to calm down. This can turn on, but even more efficient can be a trick of counting with children.

          It's not a matter of limiting children's emotions, this strategy does not help. Children should be given the chance to improve their behavior.

          For example, if your child is doing something that is against the rule and does not stop after more warning on your part, you can start counting. Say something like "Counts to three, and if you do not stop climbing furniture, you go to the penalty" (state what you consider to be the appropriate measure).

          Though very simple, and probably used by your parents, this tactic is effective in small children because it matches their limited maturity.

          It gives them time to evaluate and process the situation. Sometimes we forget that kids need more time to process information than we do. This gives them a little time to think about what they are doing before you take the next action. This tactic also helps you because you can stay calm and do not start shouting.

4.     Understand why shouting does not work

In moments of nervousness, shouting usually comes out of our mouth like fire, and we have not actually thought about the impact of such a reaction. Think about just how you feel when another adult cries out to you? Sad? Scared? Angry? Now try to put those emotions into the body of a young child. Not a pleasant experience, is it?

          Research shows that people tend to recall words that are spoken in a neutral tone rather than those that are spoken with a sad tone. From research, and experience, we know that shouting is counterproductive. Psychologists have shown that people, including children, have many more problems to remember things or cognitively function well when their brain is flooded with stressful emotions such as anxiety or fear.

          This is why the child is less likely to fill your command when you shout. Just knowing that shouting ineffective can be enough to make you break before a verbal firing occurs.

  

5.     Take some time to connect

Just like adults, children sometimes behave poorly when they feel offended by those who love them. When you are arguing with a partner, do you feel that you can do your best at work? Probably not. The children are the same.Shouting does not help people feel connected, but quality time and how to do it.

          Once the tension has passed, it often helps to spend time one to one with the child to get rid of relationships. Keep in mind that children, unlike adults, may not have verbal or egoistic maturity to say that they need time with you. Instead, he might be a bit furious. It should be a sign that you take a little time and calm down the situation and do something your child likes.

          The game is really the best way to re-connect with your kids. It does not have to be anything grand - perhaps just a few minutes of focused dice games or the game they like. If your child enjoys doing various things, then a little work on a project can be a hit. After that, you will see that you and your child are less tense and lascivious.

          With a little effort, control and a few good strategies, shouting does not have to become a permanent aspect of your parenting.

The author of the text is Amy Web, a doctor of science who now hosts and educates two kids. On his blog The Thoughtful Parent, she transmits academic research on child development to parents. She does not claim that the parenting guru is already a translator of academic research into the practical knowledge that parents can really use.